The not so wonderful part about TWO

The wonderful, wonderful part of children desiring more independence around the age of 2 is that they want to do things on their own.  This is super because while Brekkon gets dressed I can be making his breakfast or while he buckles himself in his car seat then I can be starting the car or checking to make sure we have other things we need for our outing.  You can get ready faster and be more efficient.   Plus there is such a wonderful sense of accomplishment when he does it ALL BY HIMSELF!  I often let him wear his flip-flops on the wrong feet or his underwear backwards because it is something he did on his own and it just doesn't matter that much.  There might be a little clean up for me when he washes his hands, but he is doing it on his own...YAY!!
         
                         drew and glued all by himself...he's so proud                                       backwards undies and completely ok with it                                          wrong order buddy

                                                                         more courage


The not so wonderful part about independence(in fact I would call it absolutely teeth grinding) are the fits.   Oh they are horrible!  The last couple of weeks Brekkon has decided to exercise this part of his independence, usually caused by frustration, not getting what he wants or disobeying. Our house was peaceful last week and we were all excited to go get a Slurpee (they were free at 7-11). Brekkon couldn't get his shoes on, and before I could bend down to help he was throwing his shoes at me, kicked the dog, and then slammed the door on Tukker. I wanted to stop this in its tracks, I'm not willing to take it as a phase he will get through on his own and I am not willing to give him what he wants to stop the fits.  I knew if I wanted them to stop quickly the consequences had to be big and immediate to show him this is a big problem.  
These are somethings that I have done that have helped... in this order.
Emphasize what I want:  Instead of telling him what not to do(because that is what he hears, the behavior will usually continue) I tell him what to do, "use words Brekkon, tell me I'm having trouble with my shoes will you help me please Mommy" If he doesn't know what words to use then saying "use words" does not give him the tools to deal with his frustration
Isolation:  I start with sitting on the stairs, but if it continues(much more that 10 seconds) he goes up stairs to sit in a recliner in the room, if it continues I close the door.  No toys, just sitting.  He can come down when he is ready to be obedient, or use words.  
 A Consistent Consequence:  If I tell him he doesn't get a Slurpee, he doesn't get one...I have to follow through. He didn't get one.  He had to come and watch Tukker get one. It was a big deal though because the last time we got one was one year ago when they were giving free Slurpees. This is hard and often very inconvenient.  He didn't have a fit again until today(almost a week later) when we were at the pool and had to leave after just getting there. I REALLY did not want to leave.
Sympathy:  I always let my kiddos know that I'm so sorry/sad they are not getting a Slurpee(or to swim or samples at Sams) because of their behavior at home or at the pool, but I know they will make a better choice next time so that they get to do those fun things.  Then its on them, their choice results in their consequence.  You can be sorry even though a consequence must be delivered.

These are somethings that haven't work...OOPSY!
Consequences I can't follow through on:  I told Brekkon I would get a babysitter for him and Tukker and I would go run errands one day.  It made him very upset, but he still did not obey and I didn't get a babysitter because I couldn't last minute.  So the only person who learned was me.  
Getting mad:  It just raises the emotions, and if I'm trying to teach him how to control his emotions then I'm not emphasizing what I want.  Sticking with the "I'm so sorry your choosing to behave like this" keeps me sympathetic. You can be sympathetic and loving and still expect appropriate behavior. 

A couple weeks ago we had several days that were absolutely horrible!  However, since using this as a teaching opportunity that must be done with intention and purpose the days between fits increasingly grows very quickly.  
                           If your a mom of a 2 year old hang in there, stick with it, and ask for prayer!! 
                                 -From a Mom who wishes she were swimming xoxo

Honor

Early last week, but way too last minute, I was inspired by my husband's role in protecting our country and the upcoming holiday to do a week on "Honor".  My goal was to teach them different ways that we can honor God, our country and us(Mommy and Daddy).  This is what I came up with...

The first day we did our word ring word with a verse I love and our I will statement.   

"Stand firm, let nothing move you, always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord..." 

1 Corinthians 15:28

I will
-put my hand over my heart to say the pledge to the flag
-say thank you to the people who protect our country
-respect my Mommy and Daddy(always a good one to work on)
-honor God by loving and helping others 

The second day we did a flag art activity that I saw on Meaningful Mama, it turned out great!  It was a much longer activity than I thought and we broke it into 2 separate time segments. Tukker learned a lot about using scissors, and the "ah-ha" moment finally came.  Brekkon had lots of fun just snipping the paper and getting used to using them. He was so excited to find a red cool-aid man to add to the flag. 

Tukker counting and pasting 50 stars and Brekkon counting the 13 stripes

 We talked about saluting the flag, folding the flag, not letting it touch the ground, and other ways to honor the flag.  Matt and I were nearly scared out of our pants when both boys saw a flag waving while driving down the road and yelled "SALUTE!" from the back seat. I turned around and saw both boys with their hand over their eyes saluting the flag....Yay they got it(plus it was really cute)!! 

We Tye-dyed shirts and got ready to celebrate...that got messy really fast!

We went to the library and checked out some great american song books and some books about helping others.

As we drove away in the holiday traffic, Tukker yelled Thank you to a police women out the window.  Not exactly the model of appreciation I was trying to convey but he's getting the point. It was a fun holiday week of Fireworks, crafts, football, picnics and more fireworks!    

Vacation Bible School

Tukker attended VBS last week, and what a blessing!

Our church doesn't offer drop off VBS for kids under 5 so I decided to enroll him in the Green Valley Baptist church VBS for the week.  I heard from a friend that they had an amazing children's program.  Can you believe that even though we are not members, Tukker was enrolled for FREE from 9am-12pm for the entire week!  Now I know its really not uncommon. The theme was Colossal Coaster:  Facing Fear and Trusting God.  I was so excited because only a couple of weeks ago we did a character development week on courage.  

It was such a fun time for him, he learned a lot and told me all about everything he did on the ride home...everything he remembered anyhow.  For example, he told about building a jail with Legos and locking up his friends in it, turning his juice box in to a boat and sailing it in the water, or walking on a rope with his eyes shut...OK so it took a little bit of probing the first couple days to get him to tell me that the jail was for Paul and Silas, or that the juice box boat represented the ship Paul was on where he didn't get to eat.  Each day this sequence would repeat. He would tell me something they did and usually by the end of our 20 minute drive home I could figure out how the activity related to the bible story of Paul.   He sung in a performance the last night, and still asks me to put on the Vacation bible school music.  

Brekkon and I enjoyed a lot of one on one quality time together while Tukker was there.  All in all, I know if we will ever miss another VBS again.  The church did have an amazing children's program and I was really impressed with how they ran it!  

                     He is an airplane here...in case you can't tell         He LOVES Pooh

All dressed up for the production, Thanks for the super cute outfits G.G. & Jeepy!!